Category Archives: Food for thought

This is my self-help/ development section, mainly based on my own mistakes and flaws. I hope you find it helpful, and inspires you to spark positive change- no matter how small it may be. Please comment your own thoughts about the topics covered here and let me know what you think!

Actions speak louder than…

…you guessed it-words.

Thought: 💭

I’m a strong believer in verbal confirmation and support. Like your friends top? Rate their workflow? Tell them.

But what people don’t like, are empty words.

And sadly, for those of us who so freely speak empty words, our true colours shine through at some point.

Action: 🗣

Let your actions speak for themselves.

Conclusion: ✍

We should talk less of what we want to be and just be, because our actions are the truth, not what we say.

Your opinion is not my business

…and my opinion is not yours.

Thought: 💭

Liberation is: freeing your mind of needless opinions-including some of your own.

Why should my opinion matter to you? It shouldn’t.

Why should your opinion matter to me? It shouldn’t.

Insecurity is probably one of the most significant factors in being concerned with others people’s views of yourself.

It’s taken me years to relieve myself of insecurities, freeing my mind of fear of judgement and judging others myself (admittedly, I’m still guilty of this at times).

But when you accept yourself wholly and f*** what anyone thinks- life’s considerably easier.

Might I add, this doesn’t mean we should have no consideration for people’s feelings etc – it just means their judgement shouldn’t restrict us.

Action: 🗣

When people needlessly share their opinion of you, to you, or more likely, to someone else, remind yourself it’s not your business to care what they think.

Or if you carelessly blurt out your views about someone, remind yourself, your opinion is not their business- so don’t try to make it.

Conclusion: ✍

We all naturally form opinions, but we don’t always need to share it or even delve too deeply into our minds to create them.

Being comfortable is boring

Thought: 💭

When we stay nice and cozy in our comfort zone, we aren’t experiencing all that life has to offer and can miss out on opportunities- ones that you’ll never know exist until you find them.

The most rewarding moments I’ve experienced have been the moments where I asked that question I was nervous to ask, when I forced myself to do something I’m not totally sure of or even got up that bit earlier to squeeze in a morning gym session.

Or that time I jumped out a plane (despite saying I’d never do it).

Action: 🗣

Want to do something? Can you do it?

So…do it.

Conclusion: ✍

That uncomfortable feeling is good.

If you want growth, you must push yourself out of the comfort zone. Just like training, if you want to build muscle, you must increase resistance. 💪🏼

Things Change

Thought 💭:

Why is it we struggle to embrace the inevitable? Of course, I’m talking about change.

I like to think of change as a curse and a blessing in life- you never know what’s round the corner.

Sometimes, we find it hard to accept new people, new situations and the hardest of all- to let go of the old stuff (I’m pretty bad for this). But we can’t fight it and even if we do, it comes at the expense of our energy and most importantly, our time.

Action🗣:

You can’t ever really prepare for what’s coming, how could you? After all, the future only exists in your head *mind blown* but there are ways we can handle change better:

  1. Never be complacent🛌: don’t get so comfortable in a situation and think its there to stay, because it might not.
  2. Awareness👁: Simply acknowledging that nothing is concrete makes you so much more accepting when life throws unexpected things your way.

Conclusion📝:

As the old saying goes, there’s only two things in life we can be sure of; death and taxes (lol) but I say their is a third- change.

Should we chase happiness?

Thought 💭:

For the past year or so, I believed I should live everyday in the pursuit of happiness and that I should strive to make every situation happy, regardless of the circumstances. Because, what’s wrong with trying to be happy?

However, recently I’ve began to question whether we should aim for constant happiness. The reason being, I’ve found myself feeling worse trying to be happy all the time- because I can’t make every moment worth cartwheeling for (well, I can’t anyway, I’m sure some people can). Again, setting unrealistic expectations for myself.

What should we chase then?

I watched an inspiring TED video by Emily Esfahani, on why happiness isn’t the be-all and end-all. It gave me the answer I was in need of; we should aim to create meaning. According to Emily’s studies, living life meaningfully leads to more fulfilment than focusing solely on happiness.

Action🗣:

Think about how you can bring meaning to your relationships, work and all that you do.

To create meaning, we have to add value to what we do and make it mean something to us. Here are ways we can do this:

  • Listen👂– actually listen to what people say to you and interpret it, you don’t always need to jump in with an opinion.
  • Take notice of your environment👀– be aware of the space you’re in, appreciate it.
  • Stand up for your beliefs💥– fill your beliefs with passion and unapologetically hold them.
  •  Self- reflect🙏– no one persons’ experience of life will be the same, recognise yours and how you have got to where you are now, value your changes.
  • Believe in yourself🐝– remember, you are only bound by the limits you set yourself. Have faith in yourself and create what you want.

Conclusion📩: 

Surprisingly, chasing happiness is not all it’s cracked out to be. Following what makes you feel fulfilled, on the other hand, is.

 

 

“Expectations are the root of all heartache” ~ William Shakespeare 

Yep. They really are.

Thought 💭:

Think of all the things that have made you sad in the past, and why?

A majority of the time, we feel dissatisfied because our expectations are not met, whether we are conscious of them or not.

For example, a friend may upset you, because their behaviour does not conform to how you would like it to, or a day out may not go to plan, not conforming to how you wanted the day to go.

In all honesty, I’m guilty of basing my life around unrealistic expectations. I often set out ideals for things, people, and situations and when they are not met, I feel dissatisfied and frustrated.

Action 🗣:

There are two ways of dealing with with our expectations. 

1: Achieve them – if your goals/expectations ARE realistic, make the necessary changes to achieve them. I.e., wanting to be on time-get up earlier, organise the things you need in advance to avoid being late.

If not ⬇️

2: Change them – If what you want to happen   is not tangible, or unrealistic, change what you expect. I.e. someone not behaving how you like- you can’t change people, so change your what you EXPECT of people. Maybe they aren’t who you think they are, and maybe that’s not a bad thing. 

Conclusion 📩:

When we alter our ideals, we are more open to change and so avoid ‘heartache’. This helps eliminate negative thoughts, thus making us happier. 🤗

Are we really that social?

Thought 💭: 

The constant inundation of visuals and statuses from friends and followers via social media platforms like Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook can be deceiving. They trick us into believing we are social creatures, more so than the the previous generation. However recently, I have found this is not true.

Social media changes us *duh* stating the obvious I know.

I think it makes us lazy. We seem to think because we see a friends’ story or most recent post we know how they are. We are less inclined to give them a call, send a message and have a chat, because, why would you need to? They’re doing just fine!

Call me old-school, but I really think this a step backwards socially.

I’m not saying call your followers. Just keep in touch with people you care about, don’t just watch their stories go by.

Action📲:

Sign out of one of your most used social media accounts (mine’s Instagram, as you can see ⬇️), for a day maybe? 

Would you feel disconnected, out of the loop? If so, is that how it should be? 

wp-image-321450378.png
Not proud to say I use most of my data on IG 🙈 but I’m working on it…

Conclusion 📩:

Try giving your friends/family a call that you don’t usually. Or if that’s too much, just a text. Let’s go back to being human- talk.